


Are you humming Toxic by Britney Spears?

by Blxry_fxce



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Big dick rogers, Bucky’s kind of a slut, M/M, apparently that’s not a tag, but it should be, painfully Gen Z, so let’s just manage our expectations here, which I totally support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23037526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blxry_fxce/pseuds/Blxry_fxce
Summary: Bucky really wished at this point in his life, waking up naked in his best friend’s bed would be a surprising occurrence; but in the words of Peter Parker, it be like that sometimes.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 15
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is kind of a wreck fueled by my midnight self loathing, but I also kind of love it. It feels painfully Gen Z to me in several parts and I enjoy the idea of Bucky using Gen Z shit to fuck with Steve so much so there’s a lot of that. 
> 
> Idk I thought it was fun, might extend bc I have a fun idea for an actual fic after it, not just this little Drabble ahah

Bucky really wished at this point in his life, waking up naked in his best friend’s bed would be a surprising occurrence; but in the words of Peter Parker, it be like that sometimes.

For a few minutes Bucky just lays back in bed and let’s the calm sounds of Steve breathing wash over him as he tries to remember what happened last night. Vague flashes fill his memories, vodka shots with Natasha (never a good idea), dancing with Steve and Tony (also a bad idea), and something that he thinks might have been strip poker? Bucky would promise himself never to go to one of Tony’s ‘quaint get togethers’ again. 

Bucky pulls himself out of the comfortably warm sheets in search of his clothes- and honestly why the fuck were Bucky’s jeans on the top shelf of Steve’s book case? Drunk Bucky and Steve were truly a different breed. 

Bucky takes a few deep breaths standing in the middle of the expansive room. He really needed to stop doing this. Was this normal? Do normal people have sex with their best friend every time they get drunk? No, that wasn’t right. Sometimes they didn’t even wait until they were drunk anymore. They’d never really talked about it. All he knew was that they weren’t dating, but neither of them were sleeping with anyone else anyways. That was okay, Bucky could handle a little bit of uncertainty, and it was definitely better than heart break.

Bucky was pulled from his line of thought by Steve stirring and letting out a soft moan as he stretched out the stiff joints in his back. Bucky winced lightly at the sound of the joints cracking loudly.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Stevie.”

“Mmm,” Steve started quietly, his voice rough and deep with sleep. “G’morning, Buck.”

“You want breakfast?” Bucky questions. “Or you wanna just stay in bed all day face down?” 

“I wouldn’t be opposed to not moving all day at this point, but if you’re offering who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Damn Steve, who are you, John Heywood in 1546?” 

Bucky’s words finally got Steve to roll over on to his back, “Please tell me that’s not the exact year and person that first said that.”

“Alright, I won’t,” Bucky promises, turning on his heel and sauntering out of the room; and if Bucky over exaggerates the swing in his hips as he walks, well, he’s not going to think about that one too hard.

“Why the literal fuck would you know that?” Steve yells after him. Bucky couldn’t contain his laugh at that one. Truth be told, Bucky just spent a lot of his time learning useless trivia like that to fuck with Steve on occasion. Oh, how successful of a plan that had been.

Bucky hums lightly under his breath a song he’s had stuck in his head for days on end as he digs through Steve’s fridge looking for something not expired. For someone who owned a four bedroom house with money to spare, Steve never kept any damn food in his house. 

“I’m taking you grocery shopping later. You’re paying, obviously. But I’m gonna pick out everything so that maybe you won’t starve to death,” Bucky announces when Steve finally entered the room clad in (thankfully) only a pair of loose sweat pants that were just on this side of sitting too low on his hips. Bucky almost started drooling, and it certainly didn’t have anything to do with the nearly 2 month expired gallon of milk in his left hand. Speaking of which, “Steve why the fuck do you even have this? You know you’re fucking lactose intolerant, right? God you’re such a fuckin’ punk.” 

“Hey now jerk, let’s calm down. Sam stayed down here for a couple days a while back and he bought some milk for like, cereal and shit. Meant to throw it away but I guess I forgot.” 

“No shit, dumbass. Do you know how old this is? Way too old to still be in your fridge!” 

“You gonna criticize my grocery shopping skills, or are you gonna help me make breakfast?” Steve questions, a smile idly playing at the corners of his mouth. 

“Alright, alright, breakfast time it is.” Bucky resumes his humming idly as he starts tossing slices of bread into Steve’s shitty toaster. Sometimes Bucky wonders if Steve knew he was rich. Like yeah, he had the whole big house and everything, but Bucky swears half the appliances in the place barely even function. Bucky can’t really complain though seeing as half the time the tin box he lived in didn’t even have hot water and his oven would sometimes just give out on him and he’d be stuck cooking everything in the microwave until the oven decided to work once more. God damnit, if Bucky didn’t get paid vacation neither would his fucking oven!

“Is that fucking Britney Spears?” Steve’s asks, something almost incredulous creeping into his tone.

“Whaddya mean?” Bucky questions.

“What you’re humming. Are you humming Toxic by Britney Spears?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy.” Bucky punctuates his sentence by brandishing the knife he’d been using to flip bacon around in the pan in elaborate circle motions.

“That’s it, you’re not allowed to hang out with Peter anymore. I’m out. I didn’t sign up for a life time of being called weather boy. The day Peter Park taught you what a meme was, is the worst day of my existence. You are alive only to torture me.” Steve completes his drama queen-esque monologue by collapsing backwards against the counter.

“Wow, can’t believe you’ve called ME the drama queen this whole time. Like really, damn.” Bucky couldn’t contain his inelegant snort.

“Bucky sometimes when I listen to you talk, you make literally no sense at all.”

Bucky just shrugs and goes to butter the slightly burnt toast. “So any exciting plans this week?” 

“Mmmm, nothing big. Gotta couple commissions, Nat and I are plannin’ on goin’ to a bar at some point to unwind. Sounds like she needed it, think she had a hard week,” Steve says around a mouth full of bacon.

“Yeah, can’t imagine being a bodyguard for Stark is exactly enjoyable work.” Bucky adds sympathetically. 

“Nah probably not, but I know it certainly makes Pepper less nervous.” 

The conversation slows down as they make their way through their breakfast, neither of them really having much else to have; and both being very hungover. Yeah, Bucky’s never going drinking with Natasha again, on jah. (Bucky heard Peter say that a few times, but still isn’t overly sure he’s using it right. Oh well, Bucky deserves to be the embarrassing 27 year old that he is without judgement.)

The pair set about cleaning up the kitchen while Bucky sets some music to play. Steve, for being two years younger than Bucky at 25, acts like he’s 70 sometimes. Giving Bucky dirty looks when he plays new music that he stole off Pete’s playlist. Maybe Bucky shouldn’t spend so much time hanging out with a 17 year old kid, but Peter seemed like a little brother to Bucky sometimes. Also, he really, really enjoyed embarrassing him in front of his friends. 

Bucky sets about hand washing whatever pans were still lingering in the sink while swinging his hips to the bass of the music. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Steve stared at him. His jaw was dropped just slightly, pink riding high on his cheeks. The song changes, and so do Bucky’s moves. Nothing lewd, but definitely more suggestive than it had been. An option, if Steve was willing to take it, and god did Bucky hope he was. 

When Bucky turns to face Steve, the black of his eyes has almost completely swallowed the blue, and he’s starting to stalk towards him. A zing of arousal runs through Bucky and he can’t quite control the grin making its presence known. Next thing he knows he’s being pressed against the counter, it’s harsh edge pressing into his lower back. That didn’t matter though, because Steve’s lips were pressed to his perfectly and Bucky had never been more satisfied. 

Very quickly Steve had his fingers threaded through Bucky’s hair and was using it to yank his head back. Steve pressed open mouthed kisses down his neck, stopping just below his collar bone to bite harshly at the skin there. Bucky slid his hands up Steve’s back under his shirt, pulling it off his body and over his head as he went. Bucky looked down at his friend’s Greek god-esque body and wondered not for the first time how he got so lucky with this punk. 

Steve must have decided he was tired of being patient because Bucky’s clothes were all but ripped off his body in the blink of an eye. He couldn’t will himself to be annoyed about his shirt being ruined, this was worth it for sure. Steve lifted him so he was sitting on the granite counter, the biting cold of it against his bare skin made his body shiver for a second. Bucky pulled Steve back in so they were roughly kissing again, and Bucky rolled his hips against the exposed ridges of Steve’s stomach (seriously does he have a fucking 8-pack?) and moaned loudly at the stimulation against his almost painfully hard cock.

Steve routed around in a drawer for a minute before pulling out a half empty bottle of lube, and Bucky didn’t even want to ask why Steve kept lube in his kitchen right next to the fucking maple syrup. 

Bucky was still a little loose and pliant from the night before- did it count as night before if they got home at 2 am? In no time at all Steve was three fingers deep in Bucky, pumping and curling them as he went. Bucky couldn’t help the open mouthed, whorish moans pouring from his mouth, damn Steve was good with his hands. 

“Fuck Stevie, please. Ya gotta get in me,” Bucky thought he sounded a little like a whore but he didn’t currently give a damn. Neither did Steve if the honest to god growl he let out was anything to go by. 

Steve pulled his fingers out of Bucky, who let out a whine at the empty feeling, and started squirming on the counter. Steve chuckled a little and rolled a condom on his dick, the sight of which had Bucky salivating. After seeing his dick for the first time in tenth grade, Bucky had called Steve ‘big dick Rogers’ for almost a month before Steve had finally punched him in the arm so hard he had a bruise for 8 days. 

When Steve finally sunk in to the warm heat of Bucky, he let out a loud keen at the feeling of Steve being fully inside of him. He could almost cry at the feeling, and he knew if Steve fucked him hard enough that he would. They had changed positions at some point, and Bucky was now bent over the counter. Steve pressed a hand high up between his shoulder blades pressing his chest and side of his face into the counter. Bucky couldn’t help the moan ripped out his throat at the feeling of Steve holding him down.

When Steve hits his prostate, Bucky sees stars and fucking  screams . Steve’s leaning over him now, he’s chest pressed to Bucky’s back and is muttering dirty promises in his ear that Bucky can’t quite make out in his haze, but he knows he thoroughly enjoys. 

Steve sinks his teeth into the back of his shoulder at the same time he reaches down and starts stroking Bucky’s neglected erection, and he almost starts crying right there. His mouth hung open in a silent scream and eyes glazed over with lust. 

“That’s it Buck, so fucking perfect for me,” Steve mutters into his skin, and apparently that fucking does it for Bucky. His orgasm rips through his body, catching him off guard in the best way possible, and he can only chant out a string of  Steve , and  fuck as Steve pounds into him chasing his own release. After four more thrusts and Bucky squeezing tighter around him Steve comes too. 

Steve’s hand kneed at the pliant skin on Bucky’s back as he slowly slips out and Bucky let’s out a little whine at the feeling. 

“I know baby, shhh,” Steve says as he plants a few kisses low on his back. Bucky tried not to think about the way his insides twist at the sound of the pet name. Eventually Steve pulls away to throw the used condom in the trash, and they both slowly pull their clothes back on. Bucky is just starting to feel a little awkward when Steve turns to him with a dopey grin and asks if wants to watch a movie. Bucky can’t help his answering grin as he says yes to the movie.

Could he be any more perfect?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, if you made it through that I’m super proud of you. Hmu in the comments with angry remarks abt my sex scene bc I’m a dumb lesbian.
> 
> Anyways if you were wondering what the songs they were listening to in the kitchen are (you weren’t) they are  
> Boss Bitch by Doja Cat  
> and Stupid Love by Lady Gaga  
> Bc these are the only songs I have listened to in several days. I’m actually a little concerned, but they’re hella catchy if you wanna check them out!
> 
> Also comment if you think I should continue with the idea I had to actually spin this into a fic! Or don’t! Or better yet, just call me a stupid bitch and leave a better fic idea! Bc I’m a dumb bitch who needs all the help she can get!


	2. The layout that time forgot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I wrote a layout for a fic before I wrote the one shot, but I honestly think the layout is really fcking funny, so I’m just gonna post the layout as chapter 2 and probably forget to ever make it a real fic.
> 
> So yeah this is shitty and honestly really funny to me. So here’s a glimpse into how my head works at like, 4 am. Enjoy this shit ahah

Steve and Bucky have a child.

That’s really about as far as I’ve gotten into that prompt.

Okay but like hear me out

Bucky and Steve are best friends who casually sleep together sometimes. ABO universe but like, we won’t delve super deep into it? 

Actually nah we prolly will.

But like, Bucky accidentally forgets his suppressants and he and Steve bang it out for a real one.

But then Bucky’s had the flu every morning for a hot minute to long. 

Surprise baby!

Prolly a mega extra king sized fluff

Steve’s a successful artist. He has mega bank. Which means he has a nice big house that struggling Buck does not. 

But Buck does not want any hand outs no ma’am. So he stays at his shitty apartment. Until the building nearly burns down and they both agree Bucky will move in with Steve and his big house with very big windows. Very big, important windows.

They decide that life’s easier if they share a room in their 4 bedroom house because ya know, human contact and everything.

They tell their friends but they thinks the secret is them dating. Which gets our main squeezes rlly thinkin. 

The whole ‘yea we should prolly date’ shebang. But like, Steve’s all ‘I mean, we’re Having a baby. We have a house. We just established we love each other. Why not get married?’ 

Suddenly, engagement!

~4 months pregananant~

(Sam sends Bucky that video ever single day and Bucky is going to kill him)

Okay here me out. A kitten. Amazing choice. Bad idea to have a baby and a kitten at the same time. But you know it’s cool bc baby not born yet.

Or better yet, they adopt an older dog or cat from a shelter. Yeah I like that better let’s stick with that. 

Okay sensational

So they’re having a baby girl. And you can pry that from my cold dead hands. I almost wanna make it twins but I’m not that mean. Yet. We’ll see how much this story pisses me off as I progress. If they act like bitches they’re getting twin girls and I’ll write in the teen years as a bonus just to make them miserable.

Okay, so I feel like something needs to happen that’s not fluffy. Maybe just like a splash of angst before all the good sweetness. Or we could have 3 months of pregnancy and wedding planning.

Because you know my ass is gonna have a lot of nursery designing and buying clothes and everything this baby needs. 

So wedding about 7 months pregnant. Bucky takes up writing like he always wanted. Pregnancy is a lot of work. Man this isn’t even a layout anymore wtf. 

Instead of real angst im just going to make them plan a wedding and disagree only to end up agreeing on literally everything bc they’re contrary. 

But then they get married, everything’s really beautiful there. 

Okay now we get down to business people. It’s time for the mf nursery. I’ll let this run wild in my mind as time goes. 

Bucky and Steve are going to be very ready for this child and have all their shit set up before hand. That’s why they’re starting at 7 months pregananant. 

So like, I don’t know if I want them to live in New York, you know. Because it doesn’t actually fit with my casual laid back domestic vibe. And the question is truly, does New York pass the vibe check? 

Okay they’re staying in New York bc I feel like pulling them away is weird and I can’t come up with a good way to get the whole team somewhere else. 

So they go the whole nine yards, they get a car so they don’t have to take a baby on the subway, and everything that goes along with that. 

Pepper announces she’s pregananant and the two bond over that. 

Bucky gets increasingly frustrated about being a balloon but he loves his baby girl. 

Homeboy pops at 38 weeks. Everything is very good. Name tbd.

So they take baby home. They’re very tired. But very happy. 

~end this story start another one~ 

Baby girl is now almost 3 years old and they wanna have another baby. So they start to try for another. Success! 

Cue them being wonderful parents while Bucky is, once more, pregananant. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The obscure reference I kept making was to the YouTube video ‘how is prangent formed’ by J.T. Sexkik. I have to say pregananant every time I think of the word pregnant now. Alright, thank you & goodbye from your friendly neighborhood overly gen z lesbian.


End file.
